Headphone News

We recently stumbled upon an 'ask the internet' page, which posed the question, 'Have you ever been riding on mass transit next to someone whose headphones are so loud you can hear them several feet away? If so, do you ask them to turn it down?' In the following replies, we found a few interesting insights, such as comparing loud playback to conversations of the same volume. There are also a few gems, where people voiced their fear of getting stabbed should they speak up.

We personally don't mind hearing other peoples' music on public transportation, but we also keep our music private out of consideration for others. We therefore can't consider ourselves experts on the topic. In the interest of science and the accumulation of knowledge, we've come up with a potential method of testing the relation between volume level, stab threat level, and the frequency at which people tell us to turn down our music.

Also, as a side-experiment, we could throw stab threat caution to the wind and ask some of these mobile stereos if they're aware their headphones have open backs.

Procedure: For the purposes of this experiment, stab threat level will be moderated by a mixture of clothing, demeanor, and the type of music being listened to. We will initially test each stab threat level as a whole.

Stab Threat Level	Clothing	Demeanor	Music
Level 0: Control, no risk of stabbing	Torso: button-up shirt, sensible sweater Legs: pressed khakis Footwear: loafers Misc.: nice-looking watch	Shy, introverted, hands folded in lap, slight grin	'The Space Between,' Dave Matthews
Level 1: Virtually no chance of stabbing	Torso:  bright t-shirt Legs: cargo shorts Footwear: Neon green sneakers Misc.: plastic jewelry, pacifier, tinted sunglasses	Generally happy, very into music, eyes closed, bobbing head	'Be My Lover,' La Bouche
Level 2: Vague fear of stabbing, actual risk very low	Torso:  Fubu shirt, starched denim jacket Legs: starched dark-wash jeans Footwear: Timberlands Misc.: gold chain	Stand-offish, angry pout, bobbing head, audibly saying lyrics	'Gangsta Gangsta,' NWA
Level 3: Medium risk of accidental stabbing, low risk of intentional stabbing	Torso:  ripped Misfits T-shirt held together with surgical stitching Legs: ripped, acid-washed jeans safety-pinned together over neon green leggings Footwear: Doc Martins Misc.: neon pink mohawk, tattoos on head and face, many dagger-shaped piercings	Violently banging head to music, screeching out lyrics, swinging from nearby fixtures (if applicable)	'Bottled Violence,' Minor Threat
Level 4: Very high risk of very intentional stabbing	Torso:  bloody butcher's apron, no shirt Legs: pants crudely fashioned from a garbage bag Footwear: tube socks and a single dirty slipper Misc.: knife	Vacant, empty look in eyes, alternates growling/mumbling either lyrics or gibberish, constantly stabbing a stuffed Teddy Ruxpin	'I Stab People,' ICP

If results from testing each Stab Threat Level as a group are inconclusive, or boring, we will mix and match categories.

Lab note: Stab Threat Level 2+ clothing and demeanor mixed with Level 0 or 1 music is likely to be funny.