Headphone News

Oh man! We got the Sennheiser HD 800s in the mail today! Check out these terrible iPhone pictures for a glimpse into a world in which you, the viewer, also received the HD 800s in the mail!

Above you'll see the HD 800s still in their box, which is huge compared to most packaging we see. If this box were a horse, it'd be about 1.75 hands tall, which would make it an impossibly small horse.

This is the inner box. We're assuming we'll have to peel away layer after layer of box until finally the headphones within are revealed. We hope there will be some twist end once we take off the final box. This is like living through that one episode of the Twilight Zone where they keep unwrapping bandages off some woman's face, only I'm not sure how the 'everyone has a pig face' surprise ending would carry over to the realm of headphone unboxing. We love a good mystery, though. No spoilers, please!

The HD 800s apparently live in a satin-lined coffin. So the Twilight Zone twist ending is the HD 800s weren't an impossibly small horse like we'd initially thought, but instead they were a vampire. Vampires are super trendy right now, so we guess that's pretty cool.

Here's the HD 800s on HATS, as lit by a flashlight. We tried to make the picture as spook-tacular as we could, to follow with the whole 'comes in a coffin' thing. We also thought it would be good for creating suspense for the review, and a sense of foreboding that you just can't seem to shake.

They're coming to get you, Barbara.

And yet, despite how awesome this is, we fear you aren't super excited about this review. 'The HD 800s? Old hat!' you scoff, confident someone will think you're clever for using a mildly obscure phrase like 'old hat.' Sure, the HD 800s have been around for a while by now. Sure, you can read dozens of other people crying about how the HD 800s create a soundstage not unlike a chorus of angels massaging every tiny bone in your auditory system. Sure, you'll probably never even be able to afford these headphones. What could our review possibly offer you, a person who was clever enough to say 'old hat?'

First of all, we recommend you get down off your high horse and onto an impossibly small one, because this web site isn't big enough for two figurative horses. Next, prepare yourself for unbiased data from the sort of scientific testing you won't find elsewhere. We will utilize the very best in science, robots, official-looking graphs, and needlessly sarcastic commentary. After all, this is just a hype-building fluff article and we still managed to make bad jokes about tiny horses and vampires: we didn't even scratch the surface on how the HD 800s look like props from an 80's sci-fi movie. Seriously, look at them.

We therefore invite you to join the dozens of other people already F5-ing frantically. There are also some other, smarter people have set their Opera page to Refresh Every > Custom > [1] seconds. If you hurry, you can probably catch up.