Oh man! We got the Sennheiser HD 800s in the mail today! Check out these terrible iPhone pictures for a glimpse into a world in which you, the viewer, also received the HD 800s in the mail!
Above you'll see the HD 800s still in their box, which is gigantic. If this box were a horse, it'd be about 1.75 hands tall, which means the HD 800s are an impossibly small horse.
This is the inner box. We're assuming we'll have to peel away layer after layer of box until finally the headphones within are revealed. We hope there will be some twist end once we take off the final box, like that Twilight Zone episode where everyone has a pig face. We have no idea how Sennheiser would choose to implement a twist like this, which is why we're so excited to continue the unboxing! No spoilers, please!
The HD 800s arrived in a satin-lined coffin. So the Twilight Zone twist ending is that the HD 800s weren't an impossibly small horse like we'd initially thought, but instead they were a vampire. We suppose that's pretty cool; vampires are super trendy right now.
Here's the HD 800s on HATS, as lit by a flashlight. We tried to make the picture as spook-tacular as we could, to follow with the whole "comes in a coffin" thing. We also thought it would be good for creating suspense for the review, and a sense of foreboding that you just can't seem to shake. They're coming to get you, Barbara.
...we fear you aren't as pumped as you should be.
"The HD 800s? Old hat!" you scoff, confident someone will think you're clever for using a mildly obscure phrase like "old hat." Sure, the HD 800s have been around for a while by now. Sure, you can read dozens of other people crying about how the HD 800s create a soundstage not unlike a chorus of angels massaging every tiny bone in your auditory system. Sure, you'll probably never even be able to afford these headphones. What could our review possibly offer someone like yourself, who was clever enough to use "old hat" earlier in the paragraph?
First of all, we recommend you get down off your high horse and onto an impossibly small one, because this web site isn't big enough for two figurative horses (it could get confusing). Next, prepare yourself for unbiased data from the sort of scientific testing you (sadly) won't find elsewhere. We will utilize the very best in science, robots, official-looking graphs, and needlessly sarcastic commentary. Besides, who knows what throw-away jokes we'll include in the review? Here we had tiny horses and vampires, and we didn't even begin to make references to them looking like props from an 80's sci-fi movie. Seriously, look at them.
We therefore invite you to join the dozens of other people already F5-ing frantically. There are also some other, smarter people have set their Opera page to Refresh Every > Cusom > [1] seconds. If you hurry, you can probably catch up. 
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